Last weekend, I got together with one of my oldest friends (with whom I used to party regularly), & due to the impending nature of her 25th birthday… We decided it would only be fitting for us to engage in some nostalgia, & rip it up like the good ol’ days.
Which was a nice thought, but we had some difficulty putting it into practice.
We started off strong: we bought alcohol, & mix, & salty snacks for the inevitable munchies from pre-drinking; I actually put some effort into my appearance; we both threw our party pants on & we were ready to go.
Or were we?
We (Well, I) had the aim that we were going to get “fucked up” & party like we didn’t have to work the next morning. What we ended up doing was driving around drinking coffee, talking about our glory days, and eventually landing at a dingy north side bar where I sang sober karaoke and received some unwelcome groping from a boy who looked like he had barely completed puberty.
And, to be honest, I am kind of okay with that.
Not the groping, but the driving around & eventual karaoke was actually a lot of fun.
It was nice to get to bed at a somewhat decent time, be able to have a conversation without screaming at each other, & I particularly enjoyed waking up the next morning sans-hangover.
Now, this all made me consider how much I have calmed down in recent years. I am no longer staying up ’til sunrise, or drinking like alcoholism is a sport, or letting strange guys grind up on me because I am too drunk to notice or care… & maybe that makes me a little bit dull?
I am definitely more reserved than I was in my not-so-distant youth, & although I am not opposed to unleashing the beast every once in a while (my birthday’s coming up — watch for me on your local news)… I don’t have the stamina that I used to. Which means that maybe I am not as much fun as my 19 year-old self… & maybe guys don’t want to be with me because I am, well… boring.
This thought crossed my mind, & I immediately panicked. Could my apparently bland, flat, lacklustre, mundane, vanilla, and boring adult personality be possibly detrimental to my love life?
You know, maybe. I think I had more of an outgoing, and possibly more attractive personality in my youth, but it came with a price. I could be terribly obnoxious & I did A LOT of things that I am not particularly proud of… & I really didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone (other than numero uno, of course). I think as I’ve grown more boring, I have actually grown into a better person… Which makes me proud of my new-found laid-back nature.
I may have settled down, but I have also settled into myself. I have become more independent, confident, & actually pretty content with my personality… Which makes it less necessary to party like I’m on reality TV & easier to just be myself.
& trust me, single, boring, or whatever… There is nobody I would rather be.